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If Your Relationship Is Feeling Stagnant, Rekindle The Flame With These 4 Fun Activities

Oct. 1 2021, Published 1:44 p.m. ET

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Are you starting to feel like your relationship isn't all that fun anymore? It could be that stress has you bickering — or perhaps the pandemic blues have taken hold. You may wonder whether things will always be this way or if there is anything you can do to improve the dynamic.

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Even though psychologist Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. notes that boredom is "a red flag that something in your relationship needs your attention," there are steps you can take to make things better.

"As long as both you and your partner want to make things work, there’s every chance you can find a way to start moving things in the right direction again," notes Relate.

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Keep reading for four activities that are sure to spice things up.

Try Something New

Since you are feeling hum drum, why not try doing something novel? For example, think about what you typically engage in when you hang out — and then do the complete opposite. Even better? Think of activities that will help you grow — this could include trying an ethnic restaurant, skydiving or even volunteering somewhere together.

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Plot A Surprise

"An unexpected gesture or gift is always welcome as long as it is something you know your partner will be interested in," Essence magazine says. So, think up an activity your partner enjoys and plan it — without telling them what you are doing. Then, on the day of, send a text message explaining that they have to be ready for a surprise in the evening when you both return home.

Spend Some Time Apart

Reconnecting with who you were before being in a relationship is integral to your well-being. "And just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to be with them 24/7," says writer Raven Ishak. "Being apart from them allows you to reset and feel comfortable being with your own company."

Brainstorm a list of activities you enjoy doing by yourself and let your significant other know you'll be partaking in them from time to time.

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Be Silly Together

"When we get to the comfortable, stable place of knowing we have 'secure' status with someone else, it's common to lose the playfulness that got you together in the first place," says sex coach Amy Levine.

Meanwhile, relationship guru Jonathan Bennett urges others to "give yourself permission to be silly."

Next time you sit down at your kitchen table to eat, start a food fight or stop the car at a playground and hop on a swing. Before you know it, you will be giggling — and bonding.

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It's perfectly normal to feel listless in your relationship once in a while but what's not healthy is ignoring the feeling. "Think of boredom as your own 'check relationship' warning light that motivates you to make a change," says Lewandowski. And when you do, you will be astonished at how your relationship grows.

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