The Big Bang Theory star Mayim Bialik is an open book about her mental health struggles, but it wasn't until now that she revealed she's been secretly battling an eating disorder.
"I happen to be a compulsive overeater, and I'm an anorexic and I'm a restricter and I've never said that," she shared on her podcast, "Mayim Bialik's Breakdown." "I'm trying to release the pressure of being 15 pounds lighter, which is what I, quote, 'should be' by Hollywood standards."
After the episode aired, the actress confessed she "wasn't planning" on talking about her issues publicly, but she was inspired to do so since her guest, Glennon Doyle, has discussed having bulimia.
"I know that it's such a huge component of [Doyle's] story and in books that she's been so open about, that literally in the moment I was like, if she can be brave and be so helpful to people, maybe I can try and be brave too," Bialik explained.
"I just felt really supported by [Doyle]," she added. "That experience I had with Glennon was, I'm ready to be vulnerable. And that's essentially what I believe a lot of us are not taught to do as kids. And then we wonder why we're so anxious."
"[Doyle] is just this kind of like amazing powerhouse woman who is literally so strong and so vulnerable at the same time. And I just feel so inspired by her," she continued. "That's really the epitome of what we're trying to do with this podcast is try and find places to touch people and show them what it looks like to be imperfect and to have the ability to work towards the life that you want."
Bialik offered more details on her disorder, which she's two years into recovery for. "I eat too much when no one's looking," she admitted. "I'm eating so I don't have to feel anything."
"This is the first time I've ever talked about it, because people are like, 'Well, why are you so overweight?' Well, because I'm a compulsive overeater in addition to being an anorexic and restricter," she said.
"I'm trying to release the pressure of caring that I'm wearing the clothes that make me look like those other women, even though I'm not those other women. Those are, like, my short-term 2021 goals," she shared. "Like, when can I wear all black and not have a stylist be like, 'We need you in more color.' It's like, how about if I wear black because I feel the best and I like it, and they make a lot of cool clothes in the color black?'"