Exclusive: Misha Brown's New Book 'Be Your Own Bestie' Is to 'Help Readers Build a Relationship With Themselves That Is Supportive'

Misha Brown's idea for his latest book, Be Your Own Bestie: A No-Nonsense Guide to Changing the Way You Treat Yourself, came about after he decided to do a "holiday fundraiser on my social media."

"I am on the app Cameo, and I decided that I would use the proceeds for the month of December to give back to the charity No Kid Hungry. My community absolutely showed up, and I recorded over 600 videos that month. We ended up donating thousands of dollars," Brown exclusively tells Morning Honey. "What I didn’t expect was what those videos would reveal to me. The majority weren’t silly shoutouts or jokes. My besties were asking for advice, reassurance and pep-talks. There was a lot of pain, a lot of self-doubt and a lot of people being incredibly hard on themselves. I recognized myself in so many of them. That was the moment that it really hit me that I hadn’t just built an audience, I’d built trust. People felt safe enough to be vulnerable with me, and that felt like a responsibility. It broke my heart that so many of the people who show up for me and actively support my career felt so unsupported themselves. The seed was planted, and we immediately got the ball rolling on writing my book proposal."

In the new book, Be Your Own Bestie: A No-Nonsense Guide to Changing the Way You Treat Yourself, which comes out on February 17, the social media star wants others to learn "how to treat yourself with the same loyalty and compassion that you offer the people you love the most."

"The goal is to help readers build a relationship with themselves that is supportive instead of punitive. Think less 'fix yourself' and more 'I’ve got you’re back, even when you’re a mess,'" he continues. "It’s part storytelling (because that’s what I do best), part tough-love, and hopefully feels like I have my arm around the readers’ shoulder. I share real stories, both mine and others, about shame, boundaries, jealousy, reinvention, and what happens when you decide to be on your own team for once. There’s humor because life is absurd, and if we can’t laugh at ourselves while we are growing, then what’s the point?"

Brown broke up the tome into four parts:

S – Self-reflection: Turn your focus inward to push away what’s been holding you back

A – Affirmations: Reshape the way you speak to and about yourself

S – Standing your ground: Set boundaries and stop apologizing

S – Sculpting the life you want: Take bold steps toward your own happily ever after

Since Brown is "such a planner" and "loves a good Excel spreadsheet," his self-love journey follows suit.

"When I had my aha! moment seven years ago and decided that I needed to work on my relationship with myself, I sat down to plan out the next year. I was sat in a musty hotel room, brainstorming creative ways I could map out what the coming months would look like, something tangible that I could track," he shares. "Around that time, I worked with a director who called me 'sassy,' and not in an endearing way, which stuck out to me, and I decided to reclaim it. I shortened it to the word sass, divided the year into quarters, and gave each letter a focus with Self-Reflection, Affirmations, Stand Your Ground and Sculpt the Live You Want. It was never meant to be a book. It was my own private map to getting my life back on track. It just so happened that the thing I built to survive wound up being the thing I’m sharing to help others do the same."

"I loved that it was like free therapy with deadlines. On any given story required me to think back to that time. What I was feeling, how my life was going, was I the problem? I remembered a lot of things that I had tucked away, and I learned a lot about how far I’ve come, and how much more I still have to learn," he says of the process. "A quick example, I wrote a story about breaking up with my childhood best friend. She treated me very poorly when I first got sober. She pressured me to drink and lacked any concern for my well-being. I’ve held on to a lot of resentment because of that, but after spending many hours, and edits, with these feelings I was able to let go of those negative feelings. She still hurt me, but I now better understand that I was the one who had changed, not her. Sometimes it’s okay to just let go. Everyone should write a book. If anything, it’s an excellent way to clean out your emotional junk drawer."

Still, putting pen to paper wasn't always easy for Brown, as he isn't the best at "getting to the point."

"I tend to take the scenic route to get there and my first few chapters I sent my editor came back being…lovingly edited. I think she applauded my effort in painting the picture, but made a joking reference to War and Peace," he quips. "When I first started on social media all of the platforms only allowed 60 second videos, and I had to learn how to create an entire story in that time. Beginning, middle, emotional payoff. I hated it. Eventually they broadened the time limit a bit, but this was my chance to really put the full stories out there without racing the clock. I would say the easiest part was writing in my voice. I knew beforehand that the goal wasn’t to pretend to be something I wasn’t, it was to do what I was already successful at. I’ve been writing out tiny little chapters on social media for years. All I did was translate that to the page."

He adds, "Where I did hit a roadblock was toward the end of the book, after writing two chapters in their entirety, reading them back, and realizing they didn’t land the way I wanted them to. I ended up going back to the drawing board and choosing different moments in my life to better convey the message I was trying to portray. That was difficult, not because I couldn’t think of what to write, but because I had to let go of work I’d already poured myself into. Especially being at the end of writing a book, I did have a dramatic mini-meltdown. But I was able to get over that rather quickly once I got into the flow of re-writing those chapters."

Brown, who rose to fame after creating content in 2021, has a loyal audience who rely on him for guidance.

"I’ve always been the friend that people go to for advice or to use as a sounding board. I’ll admit that being that person for 8 million people is slightly more intimidating, no pressure, right? But the advice comes from the same place it always has: deep love and respect for my friends," he shares. "What excites me the most is that I’ll get to see these conversations live beyond social media. Writing it all down and knowing that someone who’s never seen one of my videos might pick it up at a store and feel understood feels special. It’s the same heart as my social media, just a little more permanent."

At first, Brown "felt like an intruder" when trying to guide people since he's "not a licensed therapist or an expert on human behavior."

"But then I did my favorite, least favorite, thing and I reflected on why I was feeling like that. And it became clear that I felt like that because I genuinely cared," he reflects. "Eventually I came around to understanding that I didn’t have to approach self-help as an academic, but as a human who has experienced life the way we all do. Non-linear and occasionally messy. I have been in the trenches, I’ve made mistakes and I’ve figured out how to get myself out of it. People see the twinkle in my eyes now, and I’m happy to share how I got here."

Now that others rely on him for advice, Brown feels like he's "doing something right."

"I know that it takes a lot of courage to open up and be vulnerable with someone. It’s hard to share the less than glamorous pieces of your life that don’t make it onto your Instagram Stories for all to see. So, if people are coming to me and sharing their hardest moments, then there is clearly trust there," he notes. "I don’t take this for granted, and I do my best to give my full attention to their needs. I may not have all the answers, but I can listen without judgment and remind them that they’re not broken for needing help. Sometimes being seen is the advice."

Brown had no idea his life would unfold this way.

"The other day one of my very best friends sent me a text that said, 'If you told me Misha 10 years ago would get famous from being a singer? 100 percent. If you told me Misha would be famous for being a comedian? 100 percent. If you told me that he would be inspiring millions of people and a freaking well-known AUTHOR?! Wouldn’t have guessed it, but also not in the least bit surprised.' It’s such a good reminder that we never know what we are capable of. I was so focused on one goal that something like this never even crossed my mind. I feel very fortunate to have listened to the little voice in my head that whispered, 'This could be something.' Sometimes the life that finds you is better than the one you planned," he shares.

"I would say the best part of my job in the people, the Besties. I receive literally hundreds of thousands of comments, messages and emails each month filled with stories about how my content positively impacts them. That never stops amazing me. Even better, I love meeting my followers in the wild. Getting recognized in the grocery store, or in a restaurant, and spending a few moments with these people I have been struck with how kind my community is. And I don’t just mean what they say to me, but in who they are. Their smiles reach their eyes. They’re good people. That means everything to me," he continues. "The hardest part of my job to navigate is the solitude. I came from the performing world, where I was always in rehearsals, meeting and working with new casts and generally always surrounded by friends. Social media, and writing a book, I spend a lot more of my time with myself, which is a big shift. That’s why I’m really excited for my upcoming book tour! It’s like marrying my two worlds together. I get to share my stories and hopefully inspire a few people along the way, and at the same time I get to do if from a stage and get to meet my people face to face!"

Brown "felt a lot of pressure" in the beginning of his career.

"It felt like a crushing amount of responsibility. And it honestly scared me a little," he admits. "Over time, I worked through that with my therapist, and I began to recognize that people were reaching out to me because what I was putting out there was already touching them. Somehow, they felt seen. I didn’t need to suddenly become an internet psychiatrist, but rather stay true to who I am. I try to show up, I keep my audience in mind, and I share my stories to try and connect us. Some days that is great advice, and some days it’s a silly story about my dog. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve made it a point to build a space where we can all visit. There might be a nugget of wisdom I’ve learned in that days’ video, or maybe it will be a light-hearted storytime. Both matter. It isn’t about having perfect advice; it’s giving us all a place to not be alone."

He adds, "I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned that I’m enough. Not just after I fix some things, but right now. I’ve learned to listen to my gut. I’ve learned that I mattered to people before I mattered to myself, even if I didn’t believe it at the time. I’ve learned that the phrase 'you’re capable of more than you think' isn’t just motivational fluff, it’s an absolute fact. And maybe most importantly, I’ve learned that rewriting your own story, or pivoting in life isn’t a betrayal of who you were. It can be an act of compassion toward that version of yourself. My life has blossomed in the most beautiful ways at these forks in the road, and I’m deeply grateful for every one of them."

After finishing the debut book, Brown hopes this has opened the door to write more in the future.

"I have genuinely loved every aspect of this endeavor. For the past couple of years, from the first sign of life that this book would exist, I have dreamt that it could be the catalyst for what comes next. Being introduced as an 'author' before any of my other titles would be a dream come true. Not because it replaces the other things I do, but because it would reflect the heart of them," he concludes. "I never want to miss an opportunity to say thank you. I am endlessly grateful to all the beautiful humans who follow along on my social media and are showing up so fully for this book. It means more to me than I can put into words. I really hope that my book, and my S.A.S.S. method I created for myself, can help some people improve their relationships with themselves, like it has for me."

Be Your Own Bestie is available now!