Are You Obsessed With Your Ex? Here Are the Signs to Look for, According to a Psychology Expert

Jun. 11 2024, Published 1:37 p.m. ET

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Are you constantly thinking about a former flame?

According to new data and findings from Sabino Recovery, the new Netflix series Baby Reindeer has prompted a worldwide conversation about people having unhealthy obsessions with past partners.

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These are the signs you may be fixated on a former partner.

"With the major impact Netflix’s Baby Reindeer has had around the world and the discussion it’s prompted around obsession, it’s never been more important to recognize when professional help is needed when it comes to managing mental health and attachment," the anonymous psychology expert explained. "Difficulty managing emotions, unhealthy coping skills, and harmful behaviors are all critical signs that additional support may be needed. There is no shame in seeking help. It is an essential step in regaining control of life."

Per the research, most monthly Google searches around reconnecting with a partner, scaled against the population to get an obsession rate per 100k residents, were the terms: "how to get your ex back," "I can’t live without my ex," "how can I spy on my ex," "why can’t I get over my ex" and "should I contact my ex."

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Researchers analayzed terms around reconnecting with an ex.

Researchers in the study clarified that an obsession is classified as a "constantly recurring thought of someone or something. They can be short-term or long-term can often become an uncomfortable experience, which can often lead to taking priority over personal health and responsibilities."

If you find yourself going through these emotions, the experts have the steps you should follow. First, you should acknowledge the thoughts you're having.

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The experts have the steps for you to take if you are experiencing any of these emotions.

"Pushing intrusive thoughts to the side and ignoring them may only work for so long and can often cause them to grow in significance. Consider whether there’s a reason these thoughts are coming to mind and what actions can be taken to reduce or manage them," they stated.

Taking a break from your mind through meditation and other focused activities may also be a solid solution. "If thoughts are coming from a place of stress and anxiety, distract yourself with hobbies and activities that help calm the mind, such as meditation, yoga, exercise, gardening, or reading," they added.

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Meditation and meeting up with friends could help curb an obsession with an ex.

Leaning on loved ones could also curb the feelings toward a past love. "While working on yourself, try to arrange activities with friends and family to ground yourself and provide some additional distractions to reduce intrusive or obsessive thoughts," the research suggested.

If all else fails, never be afraid to seek professional help to feel better. "There is a lot of support out there designed to help you prioritize and manage your mental health. Reach out to therapists and centers for support if you feel you’d benefit from intervention," they stated.


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